I keep on repeating the conversation in my head and every time my heart shatters a little bit more. I hear those words over and over in my head and the hole in my chest gets bigger every time. It fucked me up so bad, you have no idea. You said you’ll never leave me, that you never want to, neither will I. You say you love me, I love you too. But when you told me you were getting a crush on some other guy my heart sank into the depth of the ocean, cold and covered by darkness. I don’t blame you, I blame myself, I’m doing something wrong, I’m not loving you right, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. It was one thing you telling me a boy told you he liked you but when you told me you were starting to feel the same way back, it felt like my insides ignited on fire all at once. Just the thought of you talking to him or him causing you to smile is enough to make me want to tear my chest apart. Whenever you take long to respond to my messages I’m wondering if you’re talking to him instead. I wonder what you guys talk about, wonder what he tells you, wonder if your feelings for him are growing stronger or if they’re gone, wonder if your love for me is minimizing with every second you spend with him. I would ask you to stay away from him, stop talking to him, cut him out, but you wouldn’t understand. For you, he’s just some boy with a sad backstory that you want to be there for and I understand that, but in my eyes, he’s a threat to my happiness, to my forever that I have visualized and want with you, to our future. You promised me you would never let it get to that, don’t you remember? But look where we are now. I spend the whole day worrying he made a move or you did something. I don’t want to live like this, in constant fear that I might loose you or get hurt. You promised me an eternity with you, we promised we would never let anyone come in between us. I love you. Please don’t leave me, I don’t know how to breathe without you. Please stay away from him, I don’t want to keep on hurting like this. It fucked me over so much and i don’t know how much more I can take this pain. Please. I love you. . (via cococaineheart)

(via misjudgments)

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